Bob: Welcome to London in the Afternoon with Bob Mortimer and Vic Reeves
Bob: Have you got any tattoos?
Mark: Yes.
Bob: Whats it of?
Mark: Yogi Bear.
Vic: Why did you have Yogi Bear, is he your favourite cartoon character? Does it cause a stir when you strip in front of a gentleman or a lady?
Mark: Yes.
Vic: What do they say?
Mark: Oh youve got a tattoo!
Vic: Dont they say Yabadabadoo?
Vic: Have you ever had a perm?
Mark: No.
Vic: That was very quick off the mark, I think you might have done.
Mark: You think Ive got one underneath this?
Vic: Well, I wouldnt like to say. There might be a little tight perm under there.
Bob: The hair. When did that all start?
Mark: When I was about three or four months.
Bob: The style I mean.
Mark: When I was about seventeen.
Vic: Was it a conscious decision?
Mark: I tried to do it when I was sixteen but it didnt work
Vic: Your perm had grown out then.
Bob: Was it copied off anybody? Is it meant to look like somebody, say George Strummer of Alfie Bass or what?
Mark: No.
Bob: Do you ever vary the length of your sideboards?
Mark: Yes, frequently.
Bob: And do you find theres an ideal length that you can never get back to?
Mark: No.
Bob: Have you ever used anything on your hair in an emergency?
Mark: No.
Bob: Who was your favourite guest on Shooting Stars?
Mark: John Peel.
Bob: Is that because you have an in-built affection for the man?
Mark: I have no affection for him whatsoever, but it was the pram.
Vic: Youve got a lot a lot of records havent you how many?
Mark: Ten thousand.
Vic: Get out! Ten thousand!
Bob: Have you listened to them all?
Mark: Yes.
Vic: When it comes to the crunch between the Homepride Flour men and the Tetley Tea folk, whos going to win the final battle?
Mark: Tetley Tea folk, definitely.
Vic: Really. Why? Are they harder?
Mark: Well, the Homepride Flour men dress in suits and think theyre the Krays, but theyre not, theyre just giving it some.
Vic: Theyre just big, dumb Yorkshiremen with big hats.
Mark: Ive heard that the Tetley Tea folk are really into martial arts.
Bob: You might want to dwell on the fact that you can actually make a bomb out of flour.
Vic: Cant make a bomb out of tea.
Bob: You can if youre selling it.
Vic: Whats your favourite burger?
Mark: Maybe a turkey burger.
Vic: Dont you ever go for beef?
Mark: I like beef, yeah.
Vic: Are you worried about the current scare?
Mark: No.
Vic: What about tuberculosis?
Mark: Slightly.
Bob: Well see if weve got some leaflets that can help on that.
Mark: Tell me when I can go home.
Bob: Thank you very much Mark.